The Impact Divorce Can Have On Your Mental Health 

Separations and divorce are often stressful times. Whether you have been together for two years or 30 years, it can be tough on both your physical and mental health.

If there are dependent children from a marriage or common-law relationship, this only adds to the difficulties faced when parting.

Judges in British Columbia try to do everything in their power to maintain the rights of the children and both parents—and make decisions that are in the best interest of the children. However, one concern is whether the mental health status of either parent can affect custody and parenting orders.

For anyone diagnosed with a mental illness or who is suffering mental health issues during a divorce or separation, understanding your legal position in these matters is important.

Mental health and grieving during divorce or separation

It is natural for separating spouses to feel intense emotions during separation or a divorce. Feelings of sadness, anger, betrayal, frustration, and loneliness are common.

Such strong, negative emotions can have physical and mental consequences, clouding judgement and leading to rash decisions that are not in the best long-term interests of either spouse or the children.

The support of friends and family, coupled with legal support and guidance, can usually help protect well-being and navigate individuals through difficult times—but a grieving process is quite natural during this period. The grieving process can lead to anxiety, depression, and mental illness.

The five stages of grieving after a relationship breakdown are as follows:

• Denial: Some people find it hard to accept that their marriage is ending.
• Questioning/Bargaining: Is there another solution besides divorce? Could you do something different?
• Depression/Anger: Negative feelings emerge and the support of loved ones is often required.
• Evaluation: Consideration of why the marriage did not work and taking a share of the responsibility. 
• Acceptance: The marriage is over and it is time to move on with your life.

These stages can help those suffering after a relationship breakdown to recognize the feelings they are experiencing.

People are different and may not go through every stage of grieving. Some get to the acceptance stage much quicker than others but most people will experience at least some of these stages. Those with a more positive outlook and positive people around them often get to the “Acceptance” stage quicker.

Improving physical health for better mental health during a divorce

Many individuals going through a divorce or separation find that one of the best ways to look after their mental health is to improve their physical health.

There are no great secrets here. A healthy diet and regular exercise are the mainstays of better physical health but can also help release unwanted emotions and stress, aid clear thinking, and improve decision-making.

Whether you love team sports, solo pursuits like jogging or prefer classes like yoga and pilates, find what you enjoy and do it regularly.

Some people also find benefits in meditation and breathing exercises to release emotion and stress.

Can mental health affect a divorce order or child custody in BC?

Short-term depression or a degree of temporary emotional instability is fairly normal after divorce. However, question marks over the long-term mental health of one of the parents or partners may affect judgements in the BC courts.

The intervention of experienced divorce lawyers can assist and protect the rights of the affected parties by bringing mental health issues (and supporting evidence) to the attention of the judge.

When it comes to child custody, judges are duty-bound to protect the best interests of the children. Such matters are dealt with on a case-by-case basis. Usually, regular contact with both parents is the preference. Mental health issues would need to be professionally diagnosed and the impact assessed before a judgement can be made regarding who the child spends time with.

If the court decides that spending time with a parent who has mental health issues may harm the child, sole custody may be awarded to the other parent with visitation rights for the mentally ill parent.

If the evidence points to a short-term mental health issue, a temporary order may be issued or the court may decide that there will be no negative impact on the child and award joint custody.

The potential effects of divorce on a child’s mental health

Unfortunately, separation and divorce can negatively affect the mental health of the children from the relationship.

This can be difficult to diagnose as children can be adept at hiding their feelings. Observing the children’s behaviour at home, in social situations, and at school is important during a divorce or separation.

Why hire a family lawyer during a divorce in BC?

Most people consider family relationships the most important in their lives and maintaining them is a priority.

A divorce or separation can challenge this and create questions, doubts, and negative emotions. At this time, the support of family and friends is essential. Often, however, the outside support of professionals can help too.

Many people become stressed and anxious about the future during a separation. Hiring a family lawyer doesn’t necessarily mean you want a legal battle with your ex. It can help you navigate the present and prepare for the future in many ways:

• Protect your legal rights with custody, support, and property division
• Outline your legal responsibilities with parenting, etc.
• Navigate the legal procedures concerned with divorce
• Prepare legally enforceable documentation as required
• Collaborate and negotiate with your spouse’s lawyer
• Attend mediation to resolve disputed matters
• Move matters along promptly within the family law system in BC
• Maintain an amicable relationship with your ex (if it is beneficial to do so)
• Represent you in court with corroborating evidence
• Understand and empathize with delicate situations
• Provide peace of mind that you are moving in the right direction

If you’re facing a relationship breakdown in the Langley area of British Columbia, DSG Family Law offers a free initial consultation to assess your situation and outline your legal options. Speak with a family lawyer today.