Undecided About Getting A Divorce in British Columbia

Vacillating Over Getting a Divorce in British Columbia: What You Need To Know

Getting a divorce is such a big step that you must be sure that it is what you want before moving ahead. How do you know it is the right decision? If it is, when is the right time for a divorce in British Columbia?

If you are vacillating over getting a divorce and are not sure whether to go ahead, here is what you need to know.

What do I need to know about getting a divorce in British Columbia?

Divorces in British Columbia are granted by the Supreme Court. Even if you and your spouse apply jointly for the divorce and agree on all key aspects related to it, you will need to apply to the court for a divorce order before your marriage is ended.

To get a divorce, you must meet each of these legal requirements:

• You (or your spouse) must have lived in B.C. for a year or more,
• You can demonstrate that your marriage has broken down,
• You have been separated for a year or more, and
• The court is satisfied that you have made reasonable arrangements for any children, including child support.

You can apply for a divorce at any time but the court will only grant the divorce if all the above requirements are met. Once the judge signs the Divorce Decree, the divorce is final if nobody appeals against the order within 31 days. 

While many divorces are managed with minimal legal assistance, important matters must be resolved, such as:

• Child custody,
• Parenting arrangements,
• Child support,
• Spousal support, and
• Property division.

If spouses do not see eye to eye on such matters, disputes can arise and legal help is often needed to resolve contested issues through collaboration, mediation, arbitration, or litigation.

Do you need to prove a reason for divorce? 

One way to break down the reasons for divorce is into “soft” and “hard” reasons.

Examples of soft reasons are:

• Not being able to talk to each other,
• Constantly arguing with each other, and
• Feelings of isolation within the relationship.

Examples of hard reasons are:

• Abuse,
• Infidelity, and 
• Drug addiction.

Despite each of these reasons potentially ending a marriage, one of the most common reasons given by spouses for a breakup is simply, “we just grew apart”. 

This explains why the “irretrievable breakdown of the marriage” is the most cited reason on divorce applications in B.C. In such cases, neither spouse accuses the other of wrongdoing or needs to prove a reason in court. They must simply show the judge that they have stopped living as a married couple for at least one year.

Note that, while the “reason” for the divorce does not matter for the divorce order itself, hard reasons (like abuse or drug addiction) are often relevant in other parts of the case, such as parenting arrangements and protection orders.

Signs you are ready for divorce

Many spouses vacillate over getting a divorce because they are unsure if they are ready for it. It helps to understand some of the signs that you may be ready to move forward with legally ending the marriage.

You think about divorce even when times are good in the marriage

Thinking about divorce when you argue and are upset is normal but if these feelings persist when times are good, you may be ready to move ahead on a different path.

Maybe nobody knows that you feel this way. Even your friends and family have no idea. If the feelings are not going to go away, you owe it to yourself to act, or prolong the unhappiness, despite the shock it may cause to those closest to you.

You are ready to ask yourself the “tough” questions

Divorce involves a lot of soul searching and the courage to answer tough questions. It can take time for spouses to work through the process and be ready to tackle challenging questions like:

• “Is my marriage really over?” 
• “Why did he/she cheat on me?”
• “What will happen to the kids?”
• “How will we survive financially living apart from each other?”

This requires brutal honesty that can be confronting and some spouses are not ready for it. It can also mean that they are not ready to handle a divorce.

You are willing to take the responsibility to ask for a divorce

Divorces are often initiated by one spouse taking the responsibility to start legal proceedings. The other spouse will then need to respond.

Communication is the key to a successful divorce as well as a successful marriage. If you are willing to take the responsibility to begin the discussions, ask for a divorce, and file the legal paperwork, this could mean you are ready.

Often, the other spouse is not so ready, and this creates some initial problems while the reality of the situation sets in. 

By taking responsibility and keeping communication open, matters can be resolved and the divorce need not end up as highly contested.

You accept you have grown apart and do not play the blame game

If you are angry, ready to fight, and want to prove a point to your spouse, you may not be ready for a divorce. 

A “blame game” mindset can lead to protracted court battles that may be in nobody’s interests, including yours, but especially the children’s. 

Calmly accepting that the marriage is over and refusing to point fingers is generally a good sign that you are ready for a divorce and can move on to the next chapter in your life.

Discussing divorce or separation with a spouse 

At some point, after deciding to get a divorce, you must face up to tough discussions with your spouse.

Often, spouses vacillate over getting a divorce because communication has broken down and they do not know how to broach the subject.

Before approaching your spouse:

• Plan when and where the discussion will be held.
• Write down what you will say.
• Write down your responses to potential objections.
• Focus on solutions rather than the “blame game.”

During discussions, remain respectful of your spouse and prioritize the children’s welfare.

Start gathering the main legal documentation for financial disclosure, such as evidence of assets and debts, income and earnings, business assets you own, and details of properties, vehicles, or valuable collections either spouse owns.

What are the risks of delaying divorce? 

While it is important not to rush into a divorce decision, waiting too long after separation can create legal and financial complications, especially when it comes to property division and support.

If you have already separated, delaying the process of resolving key issues can lead to several risks:

• Prolonged emotional stress and uncertainty
• Increased conflict, which can affect children and parenting arrangements
• Financial risks, including the misuse or depletion of family assets
• Missed personal or financial opportunities, such as career moves or investments
• Changes to spousal support entitlement, which may be influenced by the length of the relationship

In British Columbia, one of the most significant risks of delay involves property division. If spouses wait too long to address how assets, such as the family home, will be divided, their respective interests can become more complex over time. For example:

• Mortgage payments, maintenance costs, or renovations made after separation may need to be accounted for
• Property values may change, requiring retrospective appraisals
• Disputes may arise over each party’s financial contributions after separation

As time passes, resolving these issues often requires detailed historical accounting and expert evaluations. This can increase legal fees and make the process more time-consuming.

Taking early steps to clarify your legal and financial position can help reduce complexity, control costs, and support a smoother resolution. Speaking with a family lawyer can provide the guidance needed to protect your interests and avoid unnecessary complications.

If you are in the Langley area of British Columbia and need legal assistance with a divorce or separation, DS Family Law offers a free initial consultation to assess your situation and outline your legal options. Speak with a family lawyer today.