How to Succeed with Your BC Divorce Mediation 

Whether the British Columbia court system orders divorce mediation or you enter it voluntarily, it helps to know how to increase your chances of success with the process. 

Successful mediation can improve the outcomes for all concerned. helping to resolve the key divorce issues, such as custody and parenting, child support, marital property division, and spousal support. The process is designed to keep matters out of the courts and facilitate amicable agreements rather than a judge having to decide. 

Let’s take a look at the fundamentals of B.C. divorce mediation so that you and your ex know what to expect and understand how to be successful when you enter the mediation room.

What happens during mediation in British Columbia? 

Mediation is an alternative dispute resolution method encouraged by the British Columbia family court system because of its high success rate in resolving disputes. 

Divorcing couples may have one or multiple outstanding issues that prevent a divorce from being finalized. During mediation, a trained mediator will facilitate discussions between disputing parties to seek mutually beneficial resolutions to these issues so that both partners can move on with their lives in the best shape possible—without the delays, stress, expense, and disruption of a court trial. 

Whether the main sticking points are property/debt division, spousal support or child custody/support issues, mediation can help you remain in control of the main decisions—unlike litigation or arbitration. 

Another benefit of mediation is that there is no “winner” and “loser”. A mediated agreement can help the parties separate on good terms and preserve the relationship rather than becoming more adversarial. This is especially beneficial for couples with children. 

Successful divorce mediation may require one or more meetings between the disputing parties and the mediator who is often a family lawyer trained in mediation. These meetings can take place formally or informally at almost any location, but a series of mediation rules must be followed by the parties. 

If you are successful, a legally enforceable agreement will be prepared by the mediator.

How should you approach the mediation process in BC? 

A successful divorce mediation ultimately requires several key ingredients: 

• Good preparation  
• A skilled and experienced mediator 
• A commitment to follow the general rules of mediation 
• A commitment to negotiate 

Partners who are willing to negotiate have the right mindset for mediation to be successful. Many disputing parties are far apart in their expectations and should be prepared to shift these expectations to reach an acceptable agreement. 

The best approach is to keep an open mind and not become emotional. Be prepared to discuss difficult topics with your partner in a spirit of compromise and fairness rather than a competitive spirit. If you find yourselves becoming too emotional, take a break and come back after you have collected your thoughts. 

You should remain respectful of each other during the mediation process, following the ground rules set out by the mediator, such as one party talking at a time. Avoid pointing fingers and blaming each other for problems in the relationship. Focus on the future rather than what has happened in the past. 

Also, allow enough time for the mediation process to work. If you try to resolve everything too quickly, it could derail the process. Mediation may take one, two, or multiple sessions. 

Unlike court hearings, mediation is confidential. Make sure that the details remain private and are only shared with confidants who won’t breach your trust. 

How can you prepare for mediation in British Columbia?

Once you and your partner agree that mediation is the best way forward, you’ll need to make a few important decisions, such as: 

• When are the most suitable and convenient dates for mediation? 
• Who will pay for the mediation process? 
• Who will you approach to act as the mediator? 

If financial matters are disputed, as in many divorce cases, start preparing the necessary financial documentation, such as. 

• Proof of ownership for assets 
• Proof of earnings  
• Relevant legal agreements between you and your spouse 
• Relevant loan agreements  
• Investment and bank statements 
• Property valuations 
• Pension valuations 
• Details of debts owed 

If applicable, the mediator will also need to see any documentation relating to business interests and your children’s needs at the beginning of the mediation process. It’s best to start gathering this information as soon as possible after you agree on mediation. 

What are the divorce mediation rules in BC?

For the best chance of a successful resolution, follow the rules set out by your mediator at the start of the process. These will usually include the following: 

• Only one person speaks at a time 

• Focus on solutions—not on the actions of the other party 
• Be prepared to compromise rather than simply protect your interests 
• Don’t rush the process—take as much time as necessary  
• In matters involving children, their needs must come first (rules of the BC family court system) 
• If you are successful, commit to following the terms of the mediation agreement   

Remember, divorcing spouses retain decision-making status. You do not need to commit to anything that you’re not comfortable with. 

Also, bear in mind that the mediator is not allowed to provide legal advice. He/she can explain the legal consequences of decisions you make but cannot advise you. Many divorcing couples, therefore, hire divorce lawyers even if they hope to keep matters out of court. 

When is divorce mediation not recommended?

Mediation can be a highly successful way to resolve many types of disputes but is not always recommended.  

In particular, mediation may not be suitable in relationships with a history of domestic violence or child abuse. Underlying feelings of fear or intimidation are unlikely to lead to a successful outcome with standard mediation sessions. 

However, mediation should never be simply discounted because of its success rate in all types of disputes. Sometimes, mediation may require separate meetings with attorneys present. This can be discussed based on your unique circumstances. 

DSG Family Law offers a free initial consultation to assess your situation and outline your legal options. Speak with a family lawyer in Langley today.